Out of sudden, will you ever felt all the sin you've made. 

Everything that is wrong. Not right. and you knew that is not good, but you just did them. ALL.

I felt them all the time. And sometime i not really know how should i get myself out from these. 

I guess, that's the reason people needs GOD. as they can find a way out. right? 

When everytime I felt the burden, the weight of everything bad i did. i can feel the guilt. 

Im not a bad person. never will be. But, i guess, not the best one as well. 

Im not perfect, always making mistakes. 

I messed things up sometimes, I cry, doing all the craziest thing, being out of control. 

I always know what i should do and what i shouldn't. 

Always try my best to be a good citizen, a good daughter, a good friend, a good people. 

but i never be perfect. never will be. and i admit. sometime i kinda upset about this...

I hate this world sometime. I hate things out of control. I hate i making mistakes... 

I hate im always wasting food. Hate im not being responsible enough to my pets. Hate i actually helping in destroying the nature. Hate i not brave and kind enough to do more for this world. Hate i cannot be a vegetarian. Hate i being ignorance to a lot of things happening on the world. Hate im such a selfish people sometime. Hate i cannot sacrifice as much as others did. Hate im not a very good daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend. Hate im just not there yet. 

I always wonder will i ever do all the things i want myself to do?

Why i just cant have a strong heart and hold on to all my principles of life? 



Well... I dunno what happened to me. But I just messed things up. 

Everyone hates me. I hate myself. FML. 






p.s: it's alright. just occasional mood swing and occasional hating myself. bla bla bla... 

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