目前日期文章:201306 (12)

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生活教會我. 很多事情不是努力就一定會順心如意.

也不是每一件事情都會如願以償, 依照我們的計畫走. 

想說中學時想要的東西很多... 總覺得大學畢業後自己就可以無約無束的做所有自己想做的事... 

但, 當我越大, 越靠近[畢業]的時候... 

我就知道, 畢業後的生活沒什麼兩樣, 有了自己的經濟能力, 似乎多了點自由...

但一貫的約束依然在. 永遠都不會變.  

而你不想要變的東西, 卻一直在變... 

 

超級要好的朋友突然間不連絡了.

說會很喜歡你的男生突然移情別戀. 

想要當一輩子藍顏的異性友人突然喜歡上你.

想畢業後去環遊世界但父母竟下狠話說畢業後哪都不准去...

 

世界上唯一不變的, 就是什麼事情都會變...

當時間飛逝, 突然覺得自己堅持的東西越來越少了. 

目標越來越低, 越來越低...

"好吧, 畢業後, 找份工作, 賺錢過活... 買車, 買房... 平常至少要讓自己漂漂亮亮的, 假日和朋友出門吃頓好的, 得空寵寵自己去個旅行..." 

多麼現實的"夢想"啊... 怎麼我也快變成了社會中的罐頭? 我不懂. 

當初不顧一切想要去環遊世界, 背包旅行, 旅遊簽證...

我要成為的那個我, 還在嘛?

 

是不是當我們慢慢的長大... 我們的夢想就開始縮小?  

那我希望我永遠不用長大... 因為我好喜歡我很大很大的夢想... ><

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忙完了. 嗯不对, 還是沒忙完. 也還真的永遠都忙不完.

Tech details 依然要一改再改. 

但算了啦... 暫時, 就暫時, 讓我休息一下. 

知道自己有好多東西要去做. 

但今天真的沒有心情去做那一切東東. 

不過真的不行啦. 這麼墮落的生活... 最多過一個星期就夠了... 哈哈哈.

忙碌真的好累啊啊啊啊啊啊啊. 但不忙碌感覺也很鬱悶. 

好啦, 真的明天開始努力的充實一下自己, 好好的去聯絡一下老朋友, 總不能浪費了難得的假期吧???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

最後, 你幾時要修你的 detailing??????

*淚~~*

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  • Jun 23 Sun 2013 22:29
  • MOON

They said, moon tonight is super duper beautiful.

So, in the middle of my work, i walked out alone, and look at the moon. 

 

Yeah, it's pretty. 

and suddenly i feel like crying.

these little things in life are free. 

and what did i missed all this while?

 

 

 

 

半開玩笑才打破沉默 無論如何可別太想我
說不出口還是要說祝你順風啊 沒有關係 不必擔心我

偶爾陽光偶爾雷陣雨 時光如浮雲散落如島嶼
曾經我們奮不顧身捲向浪裡去 漩渦的記憶潮汐裡浮游

我所有瘋狂所有悲傷只有你了解 最想念的季節 最初的那一天
我愛說的夢你愛的歌靜止於完美 人生多麼善變啊 已無所謂

不像想的那麼容易啊 是誰說的有捨才有得
你陪我鬧 你陪我笑 陪我不說話 你陪我寫的歌 還有誰能感應

我所有瘋狂所有悲傷只有你了解 最想念的季節 最初的那一天
我愛說的夢你愛的歌苦澀而甘甜 隨我遠走高飛 緣起緣滅

未知的世界慢慢向外傾斜 未來還要多久 還給我一個夢
我有天空 自由灑脫 不管世界多麼大 也不怕 有層層雲霧

我緩緩飄落海的那邊星光的草原 卻已找不到我流過的一滴淚
我默默追尋昨天的我最遠到哪裡 明天不再有你

我怎麼瘋狂怎麼悲傷沒有人了解 最想念的季節 最初的那一天
我愛說的夢你愛的歌往事如雲煙 停在那一年 雨最大那一天
最想念的季節 有人記得嗎

 

 

--- 品冠, 最想念的季節

 

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  • Jun 22 Sat 2013 01:09
  • 孤独

累的时候,似乎周遭再多人都觉得孤独。
有那么瞬间突然觉得自己怎么融不进这个世界。。。
所有熟悉的人转眼变得陌生。
到底什么时候起,一切突然面目全非?
时间转的好快,忙碌着,奔波着,怎么慢慢的和一切失之交臂了?
是世界转变的太快?还是我在原地踏步?
我怎么慢慢的开始弄不懂一切的一切?
最后我只能选择沉默,放空。


“曾经我真的懂的。我真的懂的。“
突然不禁开始怀疑起自己。。。

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Cannot. i so damn stress now. LOL.

i know i need to finish up my works asap now. 

but i really need to vent somewhere before i burst.

chill chill calm down calm down. 

oh my god. how i gonna do this? 

okay. chill. not much left. you can do this...

@#&%@$#@$#@. damn. i just so f***ing stress. 

 

last few hours. 

last few hours. 

i left one more hour to finish up my detailing baords and portfolio. 

it's just start gone crazy. my gosh.

and today i need to submit CAD somemore.

@%@#%@$#%@$#@%#@%@%#$@%#$@%$#%@$%!!!! 

damn.

 

okay. enough. back to work. 

mood just not quite good this two days.

i wanna screammmmm out looouuuddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

p.s:

LOL. ah choon is just so damn pure awesome. 

went broga at this crazy peak time. 

well. i guessed it's just really too stress and absolutely need to be chill. 

goodluck bro. support you! 

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  • Jun 19 Wed 2013 07:48
  • Dream

In my dream, you walked away emotionless without even look at me when i finally turn around and greet you... 

maybe this mean something. or maybe it's not. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

p.s:

It's a weird dream anyway. take care.

just hope you really doing great. :) 

 

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  • Jun 18 Tue 2013 01:17
  • 問候

想要問候, 卻欲言又止. 

想要知道很多很多的細節, 卻已經不知該從何問起.

有些人, 有些事... 突然就走進了回憶裡, 然後再也出不來.

現實中失去的溫度, 似乎已不該再回去過去追尋...

明天吧, 明天吧... 

那樣的明天後來就成為了永不到來的那一天. 

時間怎麼把距離拉開, 這其中的奧秘我想我永遠也不會懂.

有的人, 不需要說再見就突然再也不見了...

 

 

 

我們一生中到底要默默的在心底和多少個人揮別才足夠?

可以, 永遠不說再見嗎?

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Things come and go. 

媽媽總是在說, 人生中會發生什麼事情, 一出生就注定了. 

我不是聽天由命的人, 我還是很努力的希望我的人生跟別人不一樣...

很努力的做好每一件事情, 很努力的讓我不只是現在的我.  

但, 我想有些事情, 這樣的一句話, 或許真的可以概括得很好. 

擔心什麼不擔心什麼. 該來的會來, 該走的會走.

糾結鬱悶的時候真的很喜歡聽蘇打綠的 <你在煩惱什麼> ...

 

沒有不會謝的花

沒有不會退的浪

沒有不會暗的光

你在煩惱什麼嗎?

 

沒有不會淡的疤

沒有不會好的傷

沒有不會停下來的絕望

你在憂鬱什麼啊

 

想說自己盡力就好, 何必要委曲求全?

如果世界上沒有什麼會永遠停留, 那何必煩惱?

世間萬物本質即使如此, 又何必為未知的未來先笑先哭?

我想說, 自己不是最好的人, 但當真對於自己想成為的人問心無愧.

偶而靜下來會在想, 選擇和被選擇, 我要成為哪一邊?

因為執著而讓自己淪落為被選擇的那方,好嗎?

不是在說服自己不去執著,相信,努力.只是,總是在擔憂疑惑似乎也不好.

如果自己盡力了依然得來一場空, 那也就算了吧.

我能做到的也只能到這裡,其他的似乎也由不到我來控制.

偶而真的會覺得有點無奈有點累.似乎總是只有自己在瞎奮鬥.

真真假假,疑惑猜疑...覺得委屈的時候也不是沒有. 

但努力似乎也不是全部.生活總是有點無奈. 

唉. 就這樣吧.人生依然要過.反正執著或不執著,值得不值得,最後權定還是在於自己. 

能選擇的時候真的很多.只是,我想我已經做了選擇.

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雖然說偶而自己一個人在外是挺酷, 挺快活的沒錯. 但真的只有自己一個人出門時才會發現原來自己一個人在外也是有那麼點麻煩.

比如, 自己一個人在外頭的咖啡廳, 想要上廁所什麼的... 沒有朋友幫你看著你的東西. 該怎麼走開啊?? ><

簡直是鬱悶無比. 糾結 maxxxx.

喝一半的東西該怎麼辦? 開著的電腦又該怎麼辦呢?

要命如果廁所只是在店裡還好... 為甚麼是在外面啊??????

該這麼把東西全部放著走掉嘛? 全部帶走又很麻煩. 

好吧, 全部帶走, 但等下還想回來呢? =_= 

哈哈哈哈. 好啦. 這是本小姐當下的心聲. 

...

...

... 

最後我決定了, 叫对面桌的女生幫我看. 

ciao. 上廁所去. 

 

 

ps: 

对不起. 污染各位的眼睛了... 真是超白話的一篇文章. :P

 

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說真的, 今天真的有一點悲劇. 

明明 pin up 在傍晚. 卻七早八早要到 cyberjaya 來.

也算了, 要做作業, 也不能留在學校, 因為 model 在車上, 得找個陰涼的地方停車. 

弟弟到學校後, 一個人漫無目的的亂開車...

到了 shaftbury 後在想, 這麼早吃午餐好嘛?

然後就收到 gwen 的 sms 說我的 boards print 好了. 

嗯... 不如趁天氣還不錯, 快去拿了再回來 shaftbury 吃東西吧.

 

所以就擬定了這樣的計畫: 

1) 先去拿 boards 

2) 在 shaftbury 找間可以上網的餐廳吃午餐, 然後在那裡做作業到 3 點多弟弟打電話叫我載他為止...

3) 在弟弟去 putrajaya central 後回來 shaftbury, 留在 chatime 繼續溜到 pin-up 時間....

4) 去學校 pin-up! 

 

呵呵... 就這樣吧!!!! PERFECT PLAN!!!

 

結果... plan 有點失敗.

在 gwen 那裡遇見 yekey 陪他哈拉了好一陣子... 

然後 11 點到了 shaftbury... 最後選了感覺生意不好的 D-fish 吃我的孤獨午餐.

吃完後, 開電腦, 摸東摸西的... 結果才 12 點半多, D-fish 的員工竟然說顧客來了叫我走... T_T

什麼天理啊... 真是間夭壽的餐廳. 沒禮貌. T_T 又不是 kopitiam.

不对, kopitiam 你坐多久都沒人來趕你走好不好... @#&@%#%@#@...  

人家吧生 bah kut teh 人這麼多, peak hour 有人要坐在那裡酖茶聊天, 多少人在等位子都好, 員工也不會趕人走吧... =_=

而且我有叫食物, 有叫水的ㄟ... (而且我水都還沒喝完... T_T) 

簡直是看我一個人好欺負. 哼哼. 又不見別桌的人吃完了你就趕他們走.... 

虧當初你開張的時候沒有生意我們還去光顧你... 真是忘恩負義. T_T

我發誓, 打死我都再也不去了!!! rawr!!!

 

 

算了. 生氣对身體不好. 

所以我就有點不爽, 有點鬱悶的提前來到了 chatime... 叫了咖啡. 坐下來, 打這一篇文章... LOL.

 

好啦. 發洩了就不氣了. 開工囉~ 

慧敏, 加油!!! 

還有, 去你的 D-fish. 祝你提早倒閉! LOL... (還真毒...)

哈哈哈哈. 好啦, 打完這個我笑了. 

算啦, 收回我的毒誓, 小事一樁, 就不計較了, 要積福啊~~ xDDDD  

 

 

 

 

p.s: Bsc boards 看來是沒望今天 print 了啦... ***處於半放棄狀態中...

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It's really a weird feeling to suddenly realise... how much you learned and improved in one year time. 

From zero to something. It's really something.

 

when i just touched 3D. when chris told us. do smthg lidis for me. 

i wan the standard up to this par. 

and i ask him.. how should we do that? 

using sketchup? what is rendering?

and he just throw me a word: youtube or google it.

so we started to learn by ourselves. in short period of time.

when the works outcome... i feel great. 

like how can i do it in this short while?

 

dat day when i done pin up for curtin review.

mr faisal come near by...

he asked me. how you feel the difference between now and 351.

i told him... my photoshop skill become better. 

he said. no. not about the graphic. it's about the architecture.

you guys start to making architecture. something relate back on site, and actually blend in the site...

and how we try to make the structure very light and looks transparent... but overall of it still looking nice. 

then he told me. he saw my 351 works recently, downstair...

he shook his head. said that is not good. and now.. it's far better.

 

suddenly i stunt and think. yeah. it is. 

actually during our 351, we learned a lot. 

but that time we do not really have time to digest.

we just keep receiving all the info throwing to us.

yes, i did understand when doing the project...

when chris lead us to what he wan us to know...

i thought im understanding it.. but it is not totally there yet...

once i thought that my 351 project is great.

but now when i look back. it is really not very up to par.

the site responding is really not well enough. 

it kinda looks like alien anyway. 

the concept is great. until now i still like it. but...

the form and the site response it really not quite there yet.

and the rendering.. hahahaha. 

hell ya i really love my rendering back then... 

but when i look back and comparing it to the project i did now. 

it is really nothing.

 

well, im not really enjoying this semester project. kinda boring. 

but this semester i definitely learned smthg. just that i not realize it.

human is some wonderful being i think...

out of sudden, we like get smthg. BOOM! the mind is blown. burst and we just get to it lidat.

when the beginning of the semester i still bluring. not really know what is this and that...

but out of sudden, i just get it. i know what to do. and what is right. 

we definitely learned everythg from chris. he told us a lot. 

but we just listened and yeah. that's all. 

tried to understand and really understanding it until applying it...

i think it's really totally different thing. 

so, i guessed 352 really is a semester that we lost our way. 

this semester is where... i recalled back what chris told us during 351, and when ummi gary or faisal talking about it..

i was like.. yeah i knew this... then... then... i get it better. understand it deeper. 

i feel surprise when i can understand so much. it's more like smthg accumulate.

i dint purposely learned them but when times coming, i get them. 

i feel blessed. for everything i learned, everything i knew. 

 

and my photoshop skill?

i guessed i need to thanks to lawson anyway. 

he not really taught much. but inspired me in some way...

i never thought i can do so much in photoshop. 

just some click here and there. suddenly i knew everything... 

and surprisingly, faisal and lawson like my renderings.

lawson said i should keep my style and continue it. haha. 

well. that's another story. 

so, he taught us more and when we look back a website taught ppl about photoshop of architecture...

suddenly i feel smthg.

this is a website chris introduced us a year back.

but that time i just close it cause it seems so godly and i can never reach that standard.

but now. i feel like i can do it. i can make it. 

it's smthg surprising and really touching. 

like... ermm... how much you can improve in one year?

 

it is totally about how i can stand here and become who i am now.

when i look back and i found im not longer who i am back then.

i am better. just far better. 

i know what i am doing. clear enough. 

and... how i become even better than those i once admire, look up to. 

it is really smthg i feel proud... 

how last time lecturers showing works fr seniors and i am are so stunt with their work and... thinks that i can never do that. 

but now mine is being showed. and i becoming those ppl that made ppl feel impressed. 

and i can be better if i want to. i really can. 

 

it's magical. 

architecture is like a miracle for me. 

how i come into. how i becoming who i am now.

and how i becoming someone i never thought i will be. 

damn. it's just feel damn damn so good. 

 

this whole thing make me feel like...

we can be anything we want to be. 

nothing is impossible. ;)

 

it's really about the attitude. it's about the will. 

it's about... to be or not to be. to do or not to do. 

and i believe, i believe, we all can be even better. even and even better than who we are now. ;)

 

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"To be or not to be, that's the question." 

 

Everything is about the attitude. I think this is very true.

Whenever i saw any of my friends, same background, same education level, success in life. 

Beside jealous, i wonder why they can but why can't I?

Afterall, i get a conclusion... They tried, with courage, and believe that they can do it even it's just with a slightest chance they might success. 

When i not even trying and started to think that there's so many competitors out there, i can't do it... it won't be me... and gave up without even trying... 

And they did it. prove it. success in it... 

This did gave me a big knock on my head. Oh well. WHY? 

 

In life, i saw a lot of cases.. and i started to understand why there's not much people really success in their life. 

We always give up or lose all the confident when we facing obstacles.

I admit im one of these peoples as well. 

i did changed my attitude a lot after since i scolded by one of my friend on the spot when i gave up without even trying...

and she prove me i can do it, not the best or really very well done, but the result i got is much more than i expected.

 

Why don't trust in youselves? 

Why you think that you can't do it when you are in the low side?

Why you give up without trying? WHY? 

Don't you find that, those who success in life will always success?

Do you ask yourselves why? Do you find out the reason why?

 

When you start the effort of trying from small matters, and you succeed. 

From there, you gained confident... and for sure you believe that you can do more.

That's what exactly what i experiencing from this few years after im in architecture.

when you found out that you actually can be better, you can push youselves higher, you can be more than what you think you can be...

when you amazed by what you did... what you achieved...

you starting to believe that you can do more than this. even more. and even more.

not only in this field, but any field, as long as you got the will, you can do anything. 

 

So, stop complaining about everything. and think... why others can but i can't?

And, seriously i feel bad for those people who have the chance to study in a good environment where others might willing to die for this opportunities...

but end up these peoples complaining about everything they need to do... 

come on, guys...! appreciate what you have!

What if you spend less time to complain and start doing it?

What if you stop thinking of what you can't do and start thinking what you can?

Won't you feel ashamed of what all excuses that you gave for what you can't accomplished?

admit it, you are just not trying hard enough. 

That's the line in between, you admit that you just not trying enough, or you just start blaming others for not giving you enough helps.

The life is yours. Why don't you ask yourselves, "Why others can do it but why can't I?"

Where goes wrong? Did complaining makes your life better? or helping you to complete your work? or success in your life? 

No. the answer is just N-O.  

 

I know none of us is genius or God.

we can't be success in just one try.

we can't be Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, or Mark Zuckerberg... 

okay, in a more architecture way... 

we can't be Zaha Hadid, Tadao Ando, Frank Lloyd Wright, IM Pei or Kevin Mark Low... 

We can't be other people forever and we can never be those successful people just because we doing our part... and suddenly "POP"... the world loves me. 

Practices make perfect. I always believe that effort and hardwork will fruits better than a genius that do nothing. 

Come on, atleast you try to work it out... there'll always be somebody that will appreciate what you done. 

and you should feel lucky because you are here. There's just so many who willing to see and understand what you thinking and what you want to do... 

"Atleast we see you trying to do it. Atleast you show some thought inside, we do appreciate it." 

When you got a good platform where people actually appreciate your hardwork, why don't you try even harder?

I guessed they're just too lucky and feel too comfy for having these advantages for all the time... until they don't know what other struggling outside. 

so, appreciate everything, no matter it's good or bad. 

even it's bad now, trust me, you'll thanks them for changing your life or teaching you certain things in life later. 

 

I really do appreciate everything i have, appreciate every single thing in my life. 

I really need to thanks to my parents for their support so that im here.

I really can feel the difference in the environment that provided and eventually made me a better person. 

I really appreciate every single talks with those lecturers or friends that inspired me.

They made me think more, see more... and eventually made me feel like im not good enough, i can be better, i got so much more to learn, to see, to do.  

I feel the life. The way of living. To keep walking, to keep go ahead, to keep learning... and everything around you is just different from everyday. 

It's incredible that i can be who i am today. 

and yes, i try, i struggle, i did a lot and spent a lot of effort in it.

and, yes, i actually not doing the best out of myself.

i being lazy sometime, not putting everything in that i know and im human. 

but im here. not the best yet. but living my life to the fullest. 

loving the way i live my life, loving my attitude of life. and appreciate i have everything that i need.

so, why don't you have the right attitude of living from now on? 

stop complaining and starting to do the right thing?

live your life well and not regret on anything you do?

im still on the way towards it... on the track to learn more from it. 

not quite there yet. but i know i will be there. ;) 

 

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